The Creepy Alternative Meaning of Madonna’s “Hard Candy”

The media has been yakking about it all week, so you’ve probably heard that Madonna has a new album out. As you might expect, there are articles about Madge in magazines and newspapers everywhere. I’ve been traveling over the past week, so I’ve read at least three such pieces.

Here’s what none of the articles have reported: the term “hard candy” is Internet slang for an under-aged girl. I only know this because of the disturbing 2005 film (my review) of the same name.

Given Madonna’s long history of cheeky sexual innuendo, I’m pretty sure she (or her marketing team) was aware of this particular connotation. They obviously didn’t include this fact in their press material, though, because in review after review, there’s no reference to it. Or maybe they did, and reporters are just too tired of Ms. Ciccone’s sexually-aggressive, “look everyone, it’s my vagina!” approach to publicity.


  1. Funny how you mention this. I was thinking EXACTLY of that meaning this weekend. I have not seen the film, though everyone praised Ellen Page for doing it. But I think it’s really creepy (both the film and Madonna’s song’s connection to it!).

  2. Weird timing, I did not know about the Madonna album but my weekly video nights theme this month is ‘The Kids Aren’t Alright’ and Hard Candy is next week.

    Was almost this week actually… o.o

  3. Saying that film is creepy doesn’t even begin to cover it. I had a hard time watching Juno after seeing Hard Candy.

  4. Just watched Hard Candy the movie… Creepy as hell! I thought of the same thing last week when the CD was launched in South Africa… Old Madge… what she won’t do to get attention!

  5. I keep hoping Madonna will just fade away.

    ‘look everyone, it’s my vagina!’

    Well said, and too true.

    (…off to download Hard Candy – The Movie)

  6. lol @ Derek. Madonna is a super-savy marketer of fashion and the personal brand. It’s not my cup of tea, but I have a lot of respect for her feel for pop culture and her ability to keep re-inventing herself at its forefront. And it’s always always been about sex.

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