The Original Whizzinator

Can you guess what this is?

Used with our organic heat pads, it is GUARANTEED to maintain body temperature for EIGHT HOURS! And our quality production and materials assures you that the WHIZZINATOR© will let it flow, again and again, anytime, anywhere you need it!

That’s right, it’s a fake penis and reservoir for fooling drug tests. It comes in five different colours (photos of fake penises ahead)–white, tan, latino, brown and black. What colour is latino? There’s even dehydrated urine for sale! Unethical bastards.

I read about this, and how one Texan was tripped up because his unit seemed to go ‘clink’ while in the bathroom stall.

UPDATE: Welcome, Whizzinator searchers. You’ve no doubt arrived because of the recent news of Onterrio Smith being in the possession of such a device. You might be interested in this follow-up entry, in which my athletic friend describes a Canadian doping test, and how they watch you like a hawk.


  1. HA.. i posted that and then continued reading— you had the same question…

    BTW I love your site.

  2. I dont understand why such a negative attitude, its a great invention, definatly worth the 150 bucks to someone who has to piss for bullshit reasons, however I do question some of the atheletes, as to they probably arent just smoking pot.

  3. Hi my friend! I want to say that this post is amazing, nice written and incorporate approximately all significant infos. I’d like to see far more posts like this .

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