Do Not, Under Any Circumstances, Overload the Washing Machine

We have a portable washing machine in our villa. Like many parts of Europe, there’s no dryer. We use our galaxy’s local star as our dryer, and it works very well (plus, it’s cheap!).

When they installed the washing machine a few weeks ago, they didn’t secure it to the wall. I don’t know if this is standard practice around these parts, but failing to do so has had one entertaining result.

During the spin cycle, the washer likes to go for a walk.

If left to its own devices, it will actually vibrate out into the middle of the kitchen, extending its hoses and cord straight out from the wall.

We’ve managed this phenomenon with three rubber doorstops, which seemed to really do the trick.

Until I tried to wash our sheets and my jeans in the same load. No stinkin’ doorstop was stopping that mad, vibrating beast. It tossed them aside like a mastodon throws aside irksome human hunters.

The photo shows me holding the washing machine at bay while it’s at full speed in its spin cycle. It actually took considerable effort to prevent it from walking right out the front door and down the lane to Rangers Bar.

Lesson learned: smaller loads in the washing machine. I knew enough not to put North American-sized loads in, but I still need to cut back.


  1. oops! As far as I know washing machines are never bolted to the wall (no idea if it’s “european” or not) – it’s exactly because of the walking that would make it dangerous: imagine your wall breaking or some other entertaining destruction.

    It is however common practice for the person who installs the machine to make sure it is completely level, using spirit levels and such.

    Good luck with your walking menace!

  2. Leonieke: When I lived in Ireland, I’m pretty sure our washer was affixed to the countertop or the wall in some fashion. I can’t be sure, though.

  3. Derek: Yeah, I meant to reference a Simpsons episode in which Bart and Lisa ride vibrating beds in a grimy hotel room:

    (voice shaking) Yes I am! Come on, spotty!

    (voice shaking) Come on, smelly!

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