Making the Bride and Groom Kiss

Back in the day, if you wanted the bride and groom to kiss at the wedding reception, you clinked your glass. Others joined in, and the cacophony ultimately forces the newlyweds to stand and lay one on each other.

In the past decade, though, this practice has fallen out of fashion. Now, every wedding I go to has some creative means to get the couple to kiss. Often these methods inflict a greater burden on the kiss-requester. No more simple glass-clinking for you, no sir! Recent methods I’ve observed:

  • Your table has to stand and sing a song.
  • Your table has to assemble a top-five list associated with the bride and groom, and read it at the podium (check out the card they provided at each place setting).
  • This was the most creative I’d seen. It was for a cross-border marriage of an American and a Canadian. A delegate from your table goes to the front of the room, where there’s a map of North America. The map only has the outlines of states and provinces–no names. There are two jars. One holds chits of paper with the names of states, while the other holds provinces. If you’re Canadian, you grab a state, and then must place it on the map correctly. If you’re correct, the couple kisses. If you’re wrong, no liplock. You’d think this would favour the Americans, but actually there seemed to be far more south-facing awareness, so it worked out pretty evenly.

What other methods have you seen? Or have I just been lucky to attend clinking-free nuptials?


  1. I believe I witnessed one where you actually had to pay to see the couple kiss (perhaps my inner capitalist may have created this memory for my future wedding). The show wasn’t worth the cash to me, however, and I was content to see six inches between the couple rather than shell out cash on top of a gift.

  2. my wife attended a wedding once where the centrepieces on each table were fishbowls with several goldfish swmming around in them. To get the couple to kiss you had to actually swallow a goldfish. Full points for originality, but not for taste (aesthetic nor culinary) Once the rowdies got drunk it was a full on bride/groom make out fest.

  3. Like Rach experienced, at our wedding we simply said people had to put money in a basket: the more money they gave, the bigger the kiss (pretty boring, I know). Unfortunately, our first kiss (for $20.00) was way too passionate (it couldn’t really go anywhere but me throwing her on the table and consummating the marriage right there), so people seemed to give up at that point.

  4. I’ve been to 2 weddings where you had to compose and recite a poem – both started out well, but devolved into dirty limericks by the end of the night. Most were pretty funny, though, so the entertainment value is high.

  5. Most of the weddings I’ve been too lately have had trivia challenges. That is, there’s a list of questions on each table and to get the couple to kiss, you have to answer the question correctly. In some cases, if you got it wrong, you had to kiss someone at your own table. Another wedding had a trivia/tell a story combination. They kissed if you could tell an embarrassing story about either the bride or groom. The stories were funny, but if I were the bride I wouldn’t subject myself to that on my wedding day!

  6. My parents ensured the glass clinking business happened at my wedding…

    The pay-to-see-them-kiss idea leaves me a bit speechless. It just seems like a sad sad attempt to suck more money out of guests, even though I’m sure it’s not usually done thinking that.

    Not being cheap, but attending weddings costs enough to guests, it’s ridiculous to pull off a cheap trick like that on top of it!

  7. Malcolm: Not really, no. I haven’t tried very hard, in truth, and am only posting once or twice a week. I’m enjoying doing it at that rate, though, and it’s kind of a long term project.

  8. The last wedding I went to had no reception per se – there were no clinking of glasses or any other method of making the couple kiss. I enjoyed it.

  9. I emcee’d a wedding two weeks ago and with the Bride & Groom’s permission, enacted my own little wedding rule: Want to clink glasses? Then I get to pick the person you get to kiss.

    It worked out well.

  10. my brother and especially my sister-in-law are quite shy, so it was no surprise that at their wedding there was no PDA. instead, whenever someone clinked the glasses, they picked names out of a bowl and that person had to kiss their date. a good way to spread around the embarassment 😉

  11. The last wedding I went to, if you wanted the bride and groom to kiss, you had to demonstrate a kiss first, and then they would copy it.

    Some of them were really quite funny/inovative. ( Can I really apply inovative to kissing? )

  12. I never really got the whole ‘no glass clinking’ thing. People are there to celebrate the love between two people; clinking the glass to get them to kiss is just a way of joining in that celebration. If and when my partner and I get married, we will not only allow, but encourage the glass clinking ritual. People generally get it out of their system quickly anyways.

    That being said, my sister was recently married, and invoked the ‘no glass clinking’ rule, instead opting for telling a story about the bride, groom, or both. People clinked the glasses anyways.

  13. Some young newlyweds-to-be who fancy themselves wine connoisseurs said they were doing the following at their reception: a big container full of corks, some with red wine on the ends (used), some new, one or two marked black. The bucket goes around the room to whomever dares: pick a red cork, bride and groom kiss, pick an unused cork, kiss your own date, get the black cork, EVERYBODY kiss (their date, I hope, but maybe they are more fun than that). The bride and groom could stack the odds as they wish if they are in charge of the corks. Could be pretty funny.
    Do Canadians still give out a piece of cake to put under your pillow at weddings? (So you’ll dream of the one you’ll marry?)

  14. A wedding I heard about had a pretty neat twist on the “clink” of glasses…instead of that, to get the bride and groom to kiss, you had to put something like a candy or mint, or piece of napkin, or anything else, onto someone’s shoe without them noticing – if they didn’t catch you, you had to announce it and then the bride and groom would have to kiss! That would make for a really funny evening I think!
    My fiance and I are looking for something fun to do on top of the traditional clinking – rather than the glasses, we are placing tiny bells at the tables for guests to chime when they want us to kiss – I hate to spoil tradition – and I totally agree with the comment above here, people are there to celebrate with you! Why not carry out one tiny tradition and enjoy kissing the man or woman you chose to share your life with? I think it’s romantic! 🙂 Cheers everyone!

  15. Okay, for the two of you (Rach, Vero) who said that it was just a way of getting more money out or wasn’t worth it, you better have bought AWESOME gifts for the couple.

    Tell me why I’m paying $60/person to have cousins who don’t ever talk to me bring a family of 4 ($240 for the family now). Then, they’ll get me some cheap ass $30 gift and I’m supposed to send THEM a thank-you card.

    I think the $20 in a jar will work just nicely for us.

  16. I’ve heard of some rather innovative games, as well as a few boring ones. One of my friend’s had a putting green set up at his wedding and guests had to put a hole in one to get the bride and groom to kiss. The reception was held at a golf course, so it seemed rather fitting. If you missed your putt, they got to pick who YOU kissed.

    As far as the money, I don’t necessarily agree with it. Although I appreciate weddings are expensive and a few dollars won’t break anyone, weddings are also expensive for those closer to the bride and groom. Friends have to take days off work to help out, and the wedding party ends up spending a buttload of money (I’m estimating my friend’s wedding will cost me about $600-$700).

  17. Typically the weddings i’ve been to that involve money to get the couple to kiss – the money ended up be donated to Breast Cancer or another charity of the couples choice.

  18. On the clinking of the glasses, yes, it is a tradition but many reception venues no longer allow this due to broken, chipped or otherwise damaged glassware. It is necessary to come up with another alternative and honestly, the clinking becomes a bit much after 2 hours of it!

    On the paying to kiss, I’ve never been to a wedding where the bride and groom actually keep this cash. Always ends up being donated to a charity of their choosing and we are told so at the beginning of the evening (ie Grooms Mum passed away from Cancer, cash went to Canadian Cancer Society).

  19. My sister an dbrother-in-law didn’t want glasses clinked at their wedding…they didn’t want anything done to make them kiss, in fact. But they made the mistake of decorating all the tables with handpainted bells. What a mistake! After guests were politely asked not to clink their glasses at the request of the bride and groom, everybody got the bright idea to ring the bells that were sitting on all the tables! They were horrified but all the guests thought it was the best thing ever!

  20. I am going to be emcee at my friend’s wedding this summer and she is very determined not to have the clinking of the glasses. We came up with the idea of having a vase full of wooden roses with a card attached to each one. If you want the bride and groom kiss, you have to pick one of the roses and do what the card tells you to do. I hope it works out.

  21. the ‘best” idea is to get each table
    to go to dance floor,each table decides their dance(limbo,shopping cart,tango)must talk to DJ(get right music) before starting their dance,bride and groom,must then go to dance floor copy dance and Kiss.
    Gets everyone involved.We had kids table,they did “I’m a little tea pot”
    too cute.

  22. I’m also looking for a creative idea for my up coming wedding. The best one I’ve seen so far is having a shooter table set up for guests. The bride & groom paid for bottles of liquor (Sambuca etc.) and if you wanted to have them kiss you had to do a shot. It worked out really well. The parents, wedding party, and a bunch of friends were up shooting booze throughout the night. It was in Cape Breton, Nova Scotia 😉 How can I top that??

    1. What do you do if your family is religious?? I want something fun to do but i want to be original!! HELP!

    2. Ahahaha, as i was reading your comment, I thought that that sounded like a very Cape Breton tradition! It is such a fun atmosphere there! The MC for my wedding is from Cape Breton all the way, and I can’t wait for our reception. It’s going to be an absolute riot!

      As for other kiss game ideas, a cute one I came across was hiding “kiss coupons” throughout the reception hall – making it almost like a treasure hunt. You can be as creative (ie. garter belt) as you’d like to be …

  23. At my wedding we wanted a fun way to involve the guests in making us kiss. We made a giant die, 3 sides with our names on it, 2 sides with dance on them, and 1 side with big lips.
    If the guests landed on our names we had to kiss. If they landed on dance they had to dance and we didn’t kiss, and if it landed on the big lips, everybody in the hall had to kiss their dates.
    It was a TON of fun, and a lot of the crazy uncles got into it, some of the dances were VERY amusing to watch. It was nice to have the guests involved.

  24. I am getting married in June but just dont know what to do to make me and my groom to kiss. I wanted something original but at the same time good clean fun. It will only happen at the time that we will be eating and I dont want the same old “clinking of the glasses”. Does anyone have any suggestions for me?

  25. I am right now in the midst of making a ” dare-to share” game.. where there will be a card taped under each seat, and the guest will have to peel free the card then share what it says.. like the first date, the proposal, the most humiliating thing the partner has done for them, meeting the’d it go?… that kind of thing..
    if they share.. we kiss ..if they chicken out…. they kiss…
    i hope it goes well!

  26. I just found the idea for rolling a dice. The dice will have a total of six sides numbers 2-5 and the remaining sides will have lips on them. If the guests want you to kiss then they have to roll the dice. If it lands on the lips the bride and groom kiss and if it lands on a number they have to kiss that many people in the room. Fun way for people to get to know each other and have a great time. What a great game of chance!

  27. I own a DJ company and we came up with an idea that will allow the couple to implement a pay to spin or a free spin idea. Let me expand on that. I use a prize wheel with spaces on it. Each space (numbered 1 – 5) will have a corresponding envelope and so whenever anyone lands on a number they get the envelope that coordinates with that number. Land on number 3 they get envelope number 3. It may have a prize (gift certificate of somesort) or an instruction for the person who spun the wheel to either go kiss someone or to instruct the couple to kiss each other. It goes over extremely well. No need for singing or reciting poems. Win win for everyone.

  28. Oohh I went to a wedding where the bride and groom had set up a tricycle and two pylons and if you wanted them to kiss you had to do a figure 8 around the pylons in the tricycle (to music of course!). It was super cute and lots of fun!

  29. I went to a great wedding where they used a Plinko theme (inspired by The Price is Right). Each person paid $1 to play Plinko, where they would drop the chip, it would bounce down the board and eventually land on one option like “bride and groom kiss”, “slap the brides ass”, “slap the grooms ass” or “dance to like an idiot to an embarassing song”, etc. There was no guarantee that the chip would drop in the “kiss” section, so it made for a more interesting night of ass-smacking and funny dancing. The best I’ve seen so far!

  30. I did the the paying for a kiss at my wedding. As a wedding favor I donated to the canadian cancer society. With the kissing money it was donated to heart and stroke. Since we both have been touch by unhappiness due to both causes we wanted to help. Nothing wrong in giving to others.

  31. At my wedding my sister-in-law provided us with a chinese gong. If people want us to kiss, they had to come up to the head table, hit the gong, then perform a kiss for us to either copy or top. If we topped them they had to go find a random person to kiss. Awesome idea! Easier on the ears than clinking glasses 🙂

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: