Swashbuckling Historical Dramas

We can thank Russell Crowe for this. Ever since Gladiator we’ve been handed a parade of sword-wielding costume dramas of varying quality. Off the top of my head:

  • Troy
  • Alexander
  • Master and Commander: Somewhere Over the Rainbow on 42nd Street
  • The Last Samurai

The latest is Kingdom of Heaven, concerning that funfest that was the Crusades. I sense that the producers are a touch worried, because (as per Movie Blog), they’ve released a four-minute extended trailer. Why bother? If you can’t entice me to see the film in two minutes, an extra two ain’t going to help. The best trailers sell you in the first 15 seconds.

I feel a little sorry for Orlando Bloom. He’s a fine actor, and doesn’t want for good looks, but he keeps getting thrown the fey roles. It’s as the producers say, “Orlando, old bud, you’re not the least bit macho, but you’ll bring in the 18 to 35-year-old women, so you’re in.” I guess when your first major role is as “Rentboy” in Wilde, you’re unlikely to win the hairy-chested leading roles.

8 comments

  1. Most of those movies you mention are absolutely rubbish Darren. I’m surprised you chose to highlight them.

  2. I hate Braveheart too.

    I also refuse to believe that M and C was rubbish. I’m not a real fan of that sort of movie, but I thought that one was well done.

    Also, I find that women in that demographic tend to like or dislike Orlando. A lot of women find him rather effeminate and thin.

    There’s definitely a large group that likes him, and a large group that dislikes him.

  3. Count me in on the side of M&C. I thought it was pretty good.

    I will probably see Kingdom of Heaven, but more because I like sword-swinging dramas than because I’m expecting it to be good.

  4. I like epics. I haven’t seen Alexander yet, but I enjoy them even when they’re bad (i.e., Troy). I’m so there for Kingdom of Heaven, despite Orlando Bloom. I don’t hate him, but I don’t find him sexy or interesting either.

  5. The best historical dramas I’ve ever seen were the Horatio Hornblower series. Ioan Gruffudd is not really remarkable, but this was the best bit of acting I’ve ever seen him do. And the main character, for a change, is a charismatic, kind, intelligent fellow.

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