Quite by accident, I stumbled upon (not, I should clarify, StumbledUpon) this old-school page which appears to be a first-year sociology project. It’s a big list of cultural practices for sundry countries around the world. They’re a bit dubious, and thus a bit entertaining. Here’s Canada:
- It is polite to maintain good eye contact. Men rise when women enter the room. It is considered bad manners to eat while on the street.
- No excessive gesturing.
- People stand about a half-meter apart when conversing.
- Women greet with a slight nod.
- Men greet with a firm handshake.
This reminds me of something. There’s a subtle form of sexism at work when men greet women for the first time and don’t shake their hands, particularly when they’re shaking men’s hands. I watch it happen quite often at network events and parties, and always try to be consistent in my handshaking.
But, anyway, let’s try somewhere more exotic. Say, Lebanon:
- To signal that someone is a homosexual, lick the little finger and brush it across the eyebrow.
- People of the same gender stand closer together.
- Raising a closed fist into the air is making a rude gesture.
- To nod your head means yes. To signal no, point your head sharply upward and raise your eyebrows.
- Greetings made be exchanged with the nod of a head; men will also tip their hats at women.
Wow, that ‘you’re gay’ gesture is quite involved. And Westerners must be baffled by the ‘no’ gesture.
I’m not sure if they’re describing the same gesture, but when I was in Syria the way they indicated no was to tilt their head upwards slightly a couple of times and make small clicking noises (almost like a “tsk” of disapproval).
To my sensibilities, it seemed to combine both feelings of impatience and “what an idiot”, though the logical side of me realized that it was just the way people expressed themselve. Eventually I got used to it (and even started doing it in return), but it was a bit of a hurdle.
When I was teaching a technical class to a small group in India, one of the class participants kept shaking her head from side-to-side. To me this indicated that she either did not understand what I was talking about or that she disagreed with what I was saying. Since I knew that I knew more than she did on the subject, I thought it must be lack of understanding.
When I asked her about it, it turned out that this is what she did as she understood the topic. It was hard not to stop lecturing and ask what was wrong every time I looked over at her throughout the whole four days I was teaching. Don’t know if this a cultural thing or just something that this one student did.
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“Turning tubs into tubes since 1986”
I think it’s more that many women don’t respond to a handshake. If you look like you’re ready to shake hands, men will respond. But many women just nod and men don’t want to look awkward. In a business setting, I always extend my hand. But, in social settings, I will go either way.
I never know when to shake hands. If the other person puts their hand out, I’ll shake it, but I guess I’m not one to offer it. Hmm.
This whole sociology project is going to be outdated. Take Vancouver with its non-minor minorities. One thing I noticed upon moving to Vancouver city and leaving the (mostly white) suburbs was that people budged in line. Without saying excuse me, or acknowledging your existence in any way. They might even mildly shove you if you’re blocking their path. I see this at bus stops all the time.
And then I go to the suburbs and see people standing in ordered lines at bus stops. And it looks so strange to me. And sometimes I catch myself jumping ahead of people in the line.
India: “To apologize, tap on someones shoulder and then tap your own forehead. ”
I’m Indian, I’ve been living in India for about 7 years now and I’ve never seen anyone do that.
“No excessive gesturing”?
If you tie a French Canadian’s arms to his sides he will be struck dumb. I grew up in Quebec, and it took me two years to squash my unearned reputation for exciteability when I came west.
I actually quite dislike shaking hands. It just strikes me as … icky. I almost never volunteer it, unless it’s say, a job interview or something rather vital.
But it almost always makes me want to wash my hands afterwards. I don’t know where their hands have been. 🙂
I had an ex who bitched me out for that once — while meeting with a new landlord, he shook his hand, while I didn’t offer. Evidently in so-called “man language”, I had indicated that I was less important by not offering to shake his hand. I believe my response was something along the lines of “blow me”. 🙂
omg! can’t imagine how quick time pass, right after August, ber months time already and Setempber may be the initial Christmas season in my location, I truly love it!