Pewter Medallists for the Almost Also-Rans

Speaking of figure skating, what fresh hell is the ‘pewter medallist’? That’s a term an American broadcaster applied to a fourth-place finisher. Apparently the usage isn’t widespread, seems strictly American and limited to the touchy-feely world of skating.

We need to nip this sort of ridiculousness in the bud. It reeks of the conflict between two popular American obsessions: winning and all-inclusiveness. Thinking about it, I’d apply a simple model: in competitive sports, there are winners and losers. The top-ranked athletes get medals, and the rest don’t. There’s nothing wrong with the gold, silver, bronze approach–it’s worked for 110 years, it ain’t broke, so don’t fix it.

The other model is for non-competitive events. For these, apply the Sports Day approach–everybody gets a ribbon. Okay, maybe some kids get blue ribbons and some kids get yellow ones (that’s me, heaving in the back of the pack), but everyone’s a winner.

But this pewter medal bullocks? What’s next, a copper medal for fifth place? A pine medal for sixth?

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