Steve points to an essay in ARTnews entitled How to Talk to an Artist.
First, a few examples of what not to say:
Are you a contemporary artist? All living artists are contemporary.
Do you have any extra pictures you don’t want? Do you ask bankers if they have any extra money they don’t want?
Your work is exactly like so-and-sos. “Do you mean I’m not original? I’m derivative?” worries the artist.
It must be fun to play all the time. When do you actually work? Ouch! This question is universally loathed. Artists understand very well that they’re not coal miners, schoolteachers, or insurance adjusters. But they work very hard–and consider their work to be work, not play.
What a load of elitist tripe. It’s full of generalizations (all artists, for example, don’t work “very hard”), but I object most to its basic thesis–that we should somehow treat artists differently than the rest of society. Why don’t I see articles entitled “Wearing Kid Gloves Around Your Plumber” or “Talking to the Accountants”? The implication is that artists are delicate, sophisticated creatures and the average human is too cloddish to have a conversation with them.
I would tell my bookkeeper that her numbers didn’t add up. I would tell (and I frequently do) Todd Bertuzzi to go into the corners more often. So why should I nancy around artists?
Go ahead and ask an artist if that painting comes in purple. Go ahead and ask them how many hours they work a day. Go ahead and ask what grants they’re currently applying for. It’s not about the questions, obviously, but the way you ask them. Just treat them well and don’t be judgemental–it’s the artist’s fault if they take offense.
I was also dismayed that the writer seems to think the term ‘artist’ is limited to people who work in the visual arts. Doesn’t she extend the same priveleges to musicians and poets?
DarrenBarefoot.com 
To reference your last point first, there’s a nice maxim that says “An artist is not a special kind of person, but every person is a special kind of artist.”
To reference a previous point, I’m an accountant, and I’d love to read a “Talking to the Accountants” article. I wrote such an article once, but it was rejected on account of the fact that I misspelled “kowtow” and “demigods”.
I’d also like to see an article called, “how to talk to your customer service representative, or, how to stop swearing when talking to people who don’t give a shit about you or your pathetic little life.”
Or maybe just, “Yes, that’s a real person on the phone, and she’s having a bad day too.”
Er, sorry. I’m bitter today. 🙂
We all wish people learned to appreciate what we do and speak to us accordingly but let’s face it — that just aint gonna happen.
Perhaps it should have taken the angle of How to Survive an Artist Attack or Dialogue with an Artist: How to Smile and Nod for it to make more sense.
I read the essay a bit differently. I don’t think that it’s necessarily elitist but rather is laying out some *basic* courtesies for dealing with artists (or creative professionals). Too many people think that because they can write an email they are authors or that because they used crayons as a kid they are equals with a full-time painter. In my opinion, not enough professional artists, however that’s defined, defend their work as more than hobby, their works as uniquely valuable, and themselves as professionals that deserve the same entry level of respect afforded to accountants, lawyers and others. Of course, any question is a good question but there’s also some responsibility on the asker not to be insulting with ignorance.
it sounds as if you might have been jilted by a former girlfriend -artist.or maybe an artist out moded you in regards to her etc…… as for me, i have been a furniture mover since the late 70’s. i was also a soldier for 8 yrs. in lieu of these jobs i have a hard time thinking of anyone that does march10 to 15 miles a day, run 5 miles everyday or carry pianos and various other large items to be completely devoid of a work ethic (run-on sentence i know)