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40 Reasons Why Star Wars Sucks

My favourite paper in the world, The Guardian, has a list of reasons why the Star Wars franchise comes from the dark side of the Force:

The meals are one of the blokiest things about the original trilogy. From the moment Luke’s home is blown up, there aren’t any. In space, no one can hear your tummy rumble.

Some of the reasons are pretty lame. For example, given the his acceptance of fan films and Charles Ross, Lucas is less of a control freak than they make out in reason #14.

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Darren Barefoot is an author, speaker and digital strategist. He’s the co-founder of Capulet Communications, and co-author of “Friends With Benefits: A Social Media Marketing Handbook”.

35 comments

  1. Yeah, some of the reasons feel contrived.

    The only reason I strongly disagree with is the one about wimpy arsenal. I thought the Phantom Menace produced some neat weaponry, like the bubble shield, the Trade Federation roll-and-attack robots; I would call the Death Star a pretty big honking gun.

    But if the Guardian article was referring to the skinny guns Padme and Leia were allowed to shoot stormtroopers with, they were kinda feeble but oh so effective.

  3. Yeah, I recall the female action figures always had these wee little guns that were like the size of that bone in you inner ear. Now, Chewbacca, the Stormtroopers and a couple of the bounty hunters they had these huge ironing-board-sized things.

  4. Talk about no life. Anyone with the time to come up with 40 reasons why Star Wars sucks (as stupid as they are) needs to validate his life in a way where people won’t criticise and pity him.

  5. star wars does suck. and it suck because the originators, whatever their goals were, have lost sight of the original vision and pumped out a series of franchise ruining prequels that completely compromised the integrity of the art. the goerge takei interview for star trek six has him explaining that there were more trek movies because they were making more money. i think that lucas and his cohorts owe thier fan base the same candor. also the force is gay, and takes away from the human experience and further alienates any rational viewer from the characters depicted. they’re already space aliens, why bother adding in magic.

  7. The author of the article is a twit who’s arguments are mindless and baseless.

    “There are no meals in space.”

    That’s one of his arguments? That after Luke leaves Tatooine in ANH, that they don’t eat. That is considered an argument?

    He doesn’t have any idea what he is talking about.

  9. Screw all you guys it just a f…ing movie and yeah the first (last) three sucked ass mark hamil is a duesh and so are all of you guys get a life i am losing mine just typing this crap but to those that thin the (force) is real its called god you f…ing fags get a life it just a f…ing MOVIE just like al the other movies out there they are for entertainment thats IT……F… you all………

  10. more clones wars they must be insane and in the theater wut are they nuts
    please change everything scrip director story producer dam people are blind if they buy more ticket for more of that clones noticed this please and contact George Lucas tell him too stop making the same crap

  11. Lol, that was hilarious (I read about 2/3rds of it before getting bored to tears by the ignorance of the writer)

    The person who wrote that was a DUMBASS.

    Sure, he makes some good points, starwars wasn’t perfect, but when did Alec ever say “That you never watch that awful movie again” I mean could he provide evidence of that? No, he can’t, and he probably bases it off rumors.

    All the other shit was hilarious. Revenge of the Sith was a great title, I’ll admit Return of the Jedi wasn’t great, but the Empire strikes back was great too!

    He really has to learn about the movies and provide EVIDENCE of the quotes.

    Fail.

    Oh, and Chris, in response to what you said, when did any of us say it was “real” We all know the force isn’t real. We all know it’s a movie. Go fuck yourself (Ooo I said fuck, I’m such a dirty child)

  12. Luke’s home blown up? WTH??? that was Alderaan… the guy who wrote this is such an ignorant noob…

    Tim de Lisle just needs to get a life… rather that thinking of 40 (mostly) nonexistent reasons on why star wars sucks…

  14. …really?
    you are a worthless human being.
    ok, i don’t mean that, but still, Star Wars is obviously amazing due to the world-wide obsession of the films.
    you should read my 2,043 reasons why Star Wars is a masterpiece, after you suck my dick…
    ok, i dont mean that, sorry….but still…accept the greatness of Star Wars.

  17. star wars is OVERRATED!!
    WHY IS LUCAS MILKING THE LIVING HELL OUT OF STAR WAR’S TIT?!?
    OH…..I KNOW!!!

    MONEY$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
    STUPID!!!
    I USE TO THINK SW WAS COOL AND NERDY BUT NOW IS JUST OLD AND FUCKING WAY TOO MAINSTREAM!!! NICE GOIN’ STAR WARS FAGS!!!!!!!!

  18. FUCK YOU ALL!!!!! STAR WARS FUCKEN RUELS!!!! GO FUCK YOUR MOMAS DICK!!!! GEORGE LUCAS WILL KILL YOU ALL!!!!! STAR WARS WILL TAKE OVER THE MOVIE INDUSTRY!!!! MUAH HA HA!!!!!!!!!

  19. BESIDES WHO EVER CREATED THIS BULL FUCK, WHEN I CREATE A REAL LIGHTSABER I WILL SHOVE IT THROUGH YOUR FUCKEN ASS HOLE AND THEN SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON’T FUCK WITH STAR WARS BECASUE YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!! AND STAR WARS WILL TAKE OVER LONG LIVE THE FUCKEN BEST THING IN THE FUCKEN GALAXY!!!!!!

    P.S. DON’T FUCK WITH THE FUCKER

    FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

  20. Well this is just F’ed up. I read the first 3 and got bored and realized it was some loser raving on about nothing and making it sound like something. I think Star Wars is great, and yes it has a lot of floors and Revenge of the Sith sucked. BUT it seems this is just another prejudice without any real reason behind it. Thanks for Nothing.

  22. Mark Hamil= sucked
    hayden Christianson=Sucked
    That Little Kid(who Played little Anni skywalker)=SUCKED
    eWOKS=SUCKED
    jARjAR=Sucked totall Ass!!
    =Starwars Blows a FAT GOAT!!!!

    1. Oh,wait but thats not 40 Reasons!

      Oh well,its my Reasons.
      Other than that …..the Star Wars Universe is Freak’n Awsome!!!

  24. yeh star wars is farking gay !!

    good vs evil crap and the evil guys are pansies!! any evil space dude like vader would just nuke every faggoty good planet in the beginning and not put up with a girly haired candyass like luke chasing him round

  25. star wars is the bomb but you guys hate it cause its the best movie in movie history but most of you dont have ballsacks and you always listen to your moomy when ur licking her pussy when she tells u star wars is manly for you

  26. I cannot find the article.

    I think it sucks. Because the prequels are in diffrent style. Obi Wan Says in the first 4th part that he was taught by Yoda in the 4th 1at part He is tought by Liam Neeson :). There are mayn details like this. Is That so hard to match the prequels to the original films???

  27. Who ever says Star Wars sucks wishes they had created it also for the people who just curse about george lucas with “fuck fuck fuck” dude fucking grow up and have some respect!! christ you people are fucking arrogant bastards who think they know everything, get a life and stop being so disrespectful to someone who brought you the greatest saga ever made!

  29. Star wars sucks, george lucas is stupid, he should have never made this trash (the only people who liked it are the losers who grew up to play wii and eat junk food!) I mean lightsabers (gay flashlights) awe don’t know how to fight, and the death star – stupid ball! (easy to take down) vader (homo- he sounds like a gay asmattic robot!) yoda looks like something i blew out of my nose! and Jar Jar Binks (any homo would like that little bitch, but not self respecting straight person would like him) then there is Jaba the Hut (making people think that it’s ok to be obease! (wtf!!!) and then there’s the acting in the film (stinky doodoos) and as for the guy who was talking about the awards it won, that’s cuz there was nothing else out that was family friendly aka useless crap! so of course it won, if it came out now it would not even survive opening week! Boo starwars!

  31. And the death star was destroyed by a single shot…come on who likes this shit? Star Wars is the most overrated film of all time!!

  32. there are only 2 Options for Star Wars

    You love it or hate it…..im fine with it if you dont like it, cause i fucking love sw, so i dont giv e a flying fuck what haters are thinking.

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