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Make Your Own Pet Pillow

Jeanette does taxidermy. In addition to the regular stuff-the-thing-you-shot taxidermy, she’ll also turn your pet’s fur into a pillow cover. It’s apparently “an alternative way to remember your pet”. Pricing runs from $65 for a cat to $150 for a horse (!). It’s not immediately apparent whether a cat pillow and a horse pillow are the same size.

You do need to act fast, though, once your dog moves onto that great sidewalk in the sky:

Please freeze your pet immediately upon passing to insure [sic] there will be no hair slippage. Double bag to insure no freezerburn. Ship packages ONLY on Monday’s [sic again] to prevent carrier mishaps.

This entry was posted in:Flora and Fauna
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Published by dbarefoot

Darren Barefoot is an author, speaker and digital strategist. He’s the co-founder of Capulet Communications, and co-author of “Friends With Benefits: A Social Media Marketing Handbook”.

9 comments

  3. Deer testicles on plaque…..$125.00
    Deer butt…………………$185.00

    Dude. I want a deer testicle plaque.

  4. In this context, insure is entirely acceptable and synonymous with ensure. Look in a dictionary — there is much less difference between them than you’d think.

  5. Joke: Hmmm…I’m pretty sure Jeanette (or whoever) means to say “make something certain”, as opposed to the dictionary definitions of “insure” that I found, which are “cover something with insurance” or “protect against risk”. If I were editing this text, I’d definitely change it to “ensure”.

  6. Sorry Darren, but your dictionary is not up to snuff.

    From the OED entry for INSURE:

    5. trans. To make certain, to secure, to guarantee (some thing, event, etc.): = ASSURE v. 5, 7a, ENSURE v. 8, 9.

    6. To make safe, to secure, to guarantee (against, from): = ASSURE v. 1c, ENSURE v. 6.

  7. Joke: Well, you’re down at definition #5 there. From a contemporary usage perspective, if I were editing that document, I’d definitely make it ‘ensure’.

  8. You’re being obstinate! (Yes, so am I.) You accepted “denyer” as reasonable, but not this?

    Well, the entries in the OED are sorted chronologically, by first usage. It is not an obscure, regional or archaic usage at all.

  9. There’s absolutely nothing sexier than a nerd debate on grammar. Except, possibly, hot chicks covered in deer guts.

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