What, No Singing Hobbits?

Via Freak Girl’s Pew, a musical version of The Lord of the Rings is premiering in Toronto. A related BBC article bemoans the loss of a UK premiere:

The music for the show is being written by Bollywood composer AR Rahman, who was behind Andrew Lloyd Webber’s West End musical Bollywood Dreams, and in conjuction with the Finnish group Varttina.

“There will be no singing and dancing Hobbits. The music will be in a very traditional mould and draw on ethnic traditions,” assured Mr Wallace.

I can’t wait for the Original Cast Recording:

  • I’m Grey, I’m White
  • Gollum, Get Some Pants
  • I’m a Baritone Ent
  • Hobbitses in the Closet
  • Touch Your Hair Again, Legolas
  • Still Carrying Frodo (reprise)

Those are kind of lame. Any suggestions? The potential for satire here is rich.

4 comments

  1. Potentially up there with the Simpsons rendering of, Planet of the Apes the Musical, starring Troy McClure.

    Here are some more ideas for songs…

    Arwen get your Gun

    Sharkie vs the Jets

    The Hills are Alive, with the sound of Orthanc

    Rock Me, Mithrandeous (stolen from Simpsons, Rock Me Dr. Xaeus)

    If I were a rich Elf

    Sau-ron will come up, tomorrow, bet your bottom… (to the tune from Annie)

    Hmmm…perhaps equally lame.

  2. Värtinna is awesome (and sometimes kind of scary). I look forward to their score. On the satire note, Lord of the Rings can be rewritten to the tune of “Lord of the Dance:”

    Dance, then, wherever you may be;
    I am the Lord of the Rings, said he.
    And I’ll lead you all off of Middle Earth,
    And I’ll lead you all to your death in mirth.

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