Via Gill, we find this remarkable excerpt from the winner of the Literary Review Bad Sex Award:
Slither slither slither slither went the tongue, but the hand that was what she tried to concentrate on, the hand, since it has the entire terrain of her torso to explore and not just the otorhinolaryngological caverns…
Gill rightly remarks on the extraordinary inclusion of the term otorhinolaryngological. For those not in the 99th percentile, vocabulary-wise, the term essentially means “pertaining to the ears, nose and throat.” Which explains why eye doctors are called opthamologists and ear, nose and throat doctors are known as “my ear, nose and throat guy”.
DarrenBarefoot.com 
My brother won the Bad Sex Award in 2000 for a passage from Kissing England:
“It is time, time … Now. Yes. She is so small and compact and yet she has all the necessary features … Shall I compare thee to a Sony Walkman. She is his own Toshiba, his dinky little JVC, his sweet Aiwa … Aiwa”
He claims it was meant to be ironic, but I have my doubts. Still, at least he got to meet Mick Jagger.
By the way, here’s his take on things. (Yes, he has a blog. God help us all.)