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Patent: Method of Swinging on a Swing

This may be old news to most people, but it’s the first I’ve seen of it. Apparently one Steven Olson of St. Paul, Minnesota applied and received a patent for a new means of swinging on a swing:

When swinging in this manner, the user travels along a path as generally shown in the cross-section of FIG. 1. Another method of swinging on a swing involves twisting the seat around repeatedly so that the chains or ropes are wound in a double helix. When allowed to unwind, the swing spins quickly, which can be entertaining for the user.

These methods of swinging on a swing, although of considerable interest to some people, can lose their appeal with age and experience. A new method of swinging on a swing would therefore represent an advance of great significance and value.

Yeah. You’re right up there with Isaac Newton, dude. Standing on the shoulders of giants, indeed.

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Darren Barefoot is an author, speaker and digital strategist. He’s the co-founder of Capulet Communications, and co-author of “Friends With Benefits: A Social Media Marketing Handbook”.

1 comment

  1. If you read to the end of the patent you get this:

    Lastly, it should be noted that because pulling alternately on one chain and then the other resembles in some measure the movements one would use to swing from vines in a dense jungle forest, the swinging method of the present invention may be referred to by the present inventor and his sister as “Tarzan” swinging. The user may even choose to produce a Tarzan-type yell while swinging in the manner described, which more accurately replicates swinging on vines in a dense jungle forest. Actual jungle forestry is not required.

    I’m so glad I’m not an American. Our government may lose billions of dollars through sponsorship scandals, but at least we’re not paying patent clerks to evaluate and approve this sort of nonsense!!1

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