I Pity the Fool Movie

I recently came across the best movie reviewing engine in the universe, The Toshi Station Chain Scale:

Thanks to our advanced Chain Scale system, you can now quantify the exact geek “value” or “worth” of a movie based on the basic ingredients that comprise a satisfying movie-going experience. No longer must a film’s merit be based on opinion or conjecture – here at the Chain Scale Institute we are all about cold, hard facts. Our team of acclaimed experts have extensively researched a formula by which the various elements of a film can be sorted, given a numeric or “chain” weight, and ranked.

I recently ran the appalling Timeline through Chain Scale, and it received an impressive score. Then I tried Love Actually, and it got the boot after three questions as unworthy of the Scale. Fair enough.