Full-Contact Figure Skating

My wife is a former competitive figure skater and occasional coach, and takes great joy in watching skating on TV. I take great joy in watching and listening to her watch. She’s a very vocal sports fan. She’d be an excellent commentator…the current ones apparently don’t know their ass from a divot in the ice.

Here are a list of a few things I’ve overheard from the livingroom:

  • ‘What kind of crap-ass program is this?’
  • ‘That dress is capital H horrible.’
  • ‘He’s the flounciest flouncer on Flounce Street.’
  • ‘Didn’t have any consistency? Are you on crack?’
  • ‘Here’s Emmanuel
    Sandhu
    : prance, prance, fall on my ass, prance, prance, fall on my ass’

Incidentally, the International Skating Union has implemented a revolutionary new judging system this year. It’s truly transforming the sport, making it much more fair and balanced (to borrow a phrase).

2 comments

  1. I would so love to watch figure skating with your wife. I can’t help but think there’s a lot I’m missing out with the CTV coverage.

    And I wholeheartedly agree about Emmanuel Sandhu. My two cents: someone please kneecap Jennifer Robinson so she’ll get the hell out of the sport!! I’ve yet to see her do a program without falling on at least one jump!!

  2. I’ve heard that that’s what Emamanuel Sandhu wears around the house! Probably falls alot too.

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